


Domestics [Previously: You're a hopeless social construct]

by FBH



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Domestic, Fluff, Gen, LGBTQ Character, M/M, Roleplay, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-15 20:02:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9254102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FBH/pseuds/FBH
Summary: [This is a repost because Ao3 decided to screw up and delete the previous version.]Domestic John & Sherlock texts.Or, Sherlock and John being soft lovable dorks.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Just in time for season 4. Well, it would have been if Ao3 wasn't being an ass. Apologies for that. Here's the re-upload!  
> This is the beginning of an ongoing RP. I'm not sure when or if there'll even be an update but stay tuned.  
> It's a little OOC, but a lot better than some of my other stories, yikes. Enjoy!

What happened in the flat!? JW

I don’t know what you're talking about. SH

Don't play clever with me Sherlock! Why is the whole flat stinking like something has died in here? JW

No one died recently, don't be so dramatic. Someone died many weeks ago. SH

Well it stinks now. Where even are you at? JW

At Barts. I need different equipment. SH

And when will you be home? JW

Eventually. SH

You're hopeless. Should I order takeaway for you too or will you be home later than that? JW

Don't bother. I'm on a case regardless. SH

Fine. Don't expect me to be awake when you get home then. JW

You say that, but you are always are awake, liar. SH

Maybe I won't be this time. JW

You're a man of habits, John. It would take a great shift in will power. SH

Just telling you not to expect it. JW

I won't. SH

Good then. JW

If the smell is still present, light a match. Just don't touch the second bottom drawer in the fridge. SH

What's in the drawer Sherlock? JW

Live skin. SH  
Don't touch it. SH  
I removed the specimen from the microwave for you, though. You're welcome. SH

Skin!? I don't know whether to laugh or cry anymore. JW

I'm testing the speed of skin decomposition in heat vs cold. SH

You're hopeless. JW

Can one really be hopeless if hope is not a physical thing? SH

It's just something people say Sherlock. JW

Mmm. Social constructs are so tedious. SH

What even is that case you're working on? JW

The one with Miss Havishim's daughter. It's quite boring actually, but it's passing the time. SH

Great. JW

I suppose so. SH

You know you could be home with me, drinking beer instead, right? JW

Drinking beer. No thank you. SH

Tea then. I'm bored as heck ok? JW

You're talking to me right now. I would think you'd be entertained. SH

I guess. JW

You said it yourself that I'm a "delight" to talk to. I'm still taking it as a compliment regardless of it's original intentions. SH

I guess I did. JW

And is it still proving true? SH

I would say so. Most of the time at least. JW  
There is other times where you're just a downright arse. But you know that. JW

In percentages, what amount of the time am I a downright tolerable as opposed to being an arse? It would be good to have this information on file. SH

Depends on who you ask. As I've learned to tolerate you, the amount of time where I find you 'not tolerable' is lower than many others. JW  
Take that as you like. JW

I'm asking you then. If it were a pie chart, how large would the arsehole section be? SH

20-30 percent I guess. Hard to say as it shifts very regularly. JW  
On a bad week it can be up to 70 percent. JW

Pie charts don't shift. SH

Over all it'll be about 30 then. JW  
Why do you even care? Hasn't seemed to bother you at all what people thought of you before. JW

That's not too bad. I don't care what others think. Only what you think, mostly. Although you can be biased. SH

Should I be honoured? JW

Maybe. How much do you revere me? SH

Revere you? You sure have high thoughts of yourself huh? JW

Is this news to you? SH

Not really. JW

Exactly. SH

I would say that I 'revere' you in a fairly good amount. Considering how much of a self-centered arse you can be. I respect you, that's for sure. JW  
Don't get too high thoughts though. JW

I wouldn't dream. SH

How's the case going? JW

It's coming along very slowly. SH

Hm. JW  
Do you want me to come help? JW

There wouldn't be much for you to do. I'm just running a lot of blood samples. SH

Sounds boring. JW

It's passing the time. Much better than cluedo. SH

We'll sure as heck never play that again. JW

I still think if you'd just playing with my rules we would have had much more fun. SH

Everything can't always be by your rules Sherlock! JW

That cluedo game could've. It would have been a great improvement. SH

There's that hopeless thing again. JW

Your words wound me, John. SH

No they don't. JW

[delayed] You're correct. SH

I'm sorry what? JW

Just this once, you're correct. SH  
Please don't make me say it again. SH

What? Huh? I don't think I got it? I am what? JW

You can read the texts just as well as I can. SH

Yeah, but there's something thrilling about you saying it. JW  
It only happens ever so rarely, so I got to enjoy it when it does. JW

It's a rare occurrence. You like being praised, though. Words of affirmation and all. SH

I guess I do. But only when it's you though. JW

Which is odd because I'm rubbish at compliments. SH

Maybe that's why it feels so special when you finally say nice things. JW

'Feels so special'. Are you writing valentine day cards now? You're always so sappy. SH

Very funny Sherlock. So mature. JW

You're the one writing things that could be in Stephenie Myer's next novel. SH

Just a warning. I might be drunk when you get home. Heading towards it already. JW

And here is another reason I retain from alcohol. SH

Have you never been drunk before? JW

Only once. I had a terrible headache the next day. SH

It's called a hungover Sherlock. JW

I much rather prefer heroin. SH

You know that I hate when you to say that right? I get worried. JW

So does my mother, Mycroft, and George. I keep it under control. SH

He's name is Greg. JW  
And it's because we care about you Sherlock. JW

As I said, I keep it under control. SH  
Unlike someone who, as I recall, was going to be asleep when I got home? SH

Alcohol is something else Sherlock. JW  
And who said I'm not going to be asleep? JW  
You're not home yet. JW

I'm almost finished, though. SH

I could fall asleep at any time you know. JW

Oh I know. I occasionally like to balance things on you when you fall asleep on the sofa. SH  
It's very amusing. I once got 2.5 loafs of bread on your head, you're so stil. SH

If you won't stop teasing I'm just gonna fall asleep in your bed instead. JW

Be my guest. I hardly use it as you know. SH

You should sleep you know. You don't take good enough care of yourself. JW

You're starting to sound like Mrs. Hudson. SH

I could come and cuddle with you if that'd help? ;) JW  
Oops! Not intended. Drunk now. Sorry. JW

You really are tipsy aren't you? SH  
[delayed] Although that's not a bad offer. I'll think about it. SH  
I used to sleep with my dog, you know. It was nice having another presence in the room. SH

Well, I'll just fall asleep in your bed tonight, and then you can join me when you get home. JW

I said I'll think about it. SH

Mmmmm... fine. JW  
Sherlock? JW

What? SH

Can I ask you a question? JW

You just did. SH

Are you gay? JW  
Been wondering since the day we met you know. JW

Which version? The happy version or the homosexual one? SH  
Occasionally to the former. Yes to the latter. SH  
I don't see why it's such a big deal, though. SH

I'm just curious. JW

[delayed] I don't like talking about it because it scares people off. I've lost previous male flatemates because they thought I was a pervert or something else ridiculous. If you feel the same, I understand. SH

Those were just idiots. Of course I won't leave you Sherly. JW  
Sherlock. I meant Sherlock. JW

John. SH

Hm? JW

Are you gay? At least in a little bit? SH  
I know you've denied it before, but... SH

The answer is no. I'm not gay. JW  
But! I might be bisexual. JW

That's nice. SH  
I mean, that's fine and everything. SH

Why'd you ask? JW

Why'd you ask? SH  
I asked because you did. SH

I asked because it had bothered me that I hadn't been able to figure it out. JW  
Also, I don't believe you. JW

What's that supposed to mean? SH

You never just 'do something because others do', also I've said several times that I wasn't gay, so you practically had the answer already. JW  
So why did you ask? JW

I thought we were having a heart-to-heart about our sexual preferences. I was just continuing the conversation. And confirming some suspicions. SH

Hm. Whatever you say. JW  
Will you be home soon? JW

Hold on, what's 'hm' supposed to mean? SH

Means whatever. JW

You're acting odd. But yes, I suppose I could finish for today. SH

I'm drunk. I'm allowed to be odd. JW

Look at you. You're hopeless now. SH

Maybe. JW

I'll be home within the half hour. SH

Ok. Go to sleep when you come home ok...? You've worked a lot today. JW

Will you be there? SH

If you want me to. JW

[delayed] I do. SH

I'll be there. JW

[delayed] Good. SH  
And, John? SH

Mmm? JW

Thanks. For not being weird or stupid and for liking my compliments and for caring. It means a lot, regardless of what I say about social constructs. SH

Wow. It's no problem. Thanks to you too, Sherlock. I want it. Now you better hurry home a cuddle up with me before I fall asleep without you. JW

So sappy. SH


End file.
